Thursday, June 10, 2010

Desani, Arrowhead, or John?

Quite simply put, he is the best choice of water!

John Waters is a man of personification. The very personification of what we as a species actually are capable of being. Denial follows this statement, thus condemning this post in the upward climb's anxiety filled base. Well, no one ever has to admit what we humans are able to embrace or dare I say, become. Of course, no one has to celebrate the fact that our personal freedom of choice includes paths that we would not condone as the right direction for ourselves at the fork. But we should give praise to those few who take pride in the choice they have made. More over, take pride in using their choice for the benefit of art. And when it comes to art, I mean the Mondo Trasho film.

John's seemingly one of a kind visions and insight have shocked, mentally stabbed and corrupted alternative media goers minds for nearly 4 and a half decades. Bringing out the animal in humanity is not only his game, but his career. Treating boundaries like a victim of Parkinson's disease builds a house of cards, Mr. Waters continues to fill the spaces that other independent directors has left him when breaking the Hollywood mold. Critiquing society and establishment as he proudly marches forward, as seen here in the following example:


John's love for creating and sharing his mind with a sea of humanity has given us the option to view something close to a direct opposite of Hollywood's approach. Something very much appreciated by a film buff such as me. This creativity has given us numerous titles, all of which fit into his trademark genre.


His reoccurring themes are what outraged mainstream critics. At the same time though, they are what made him who he is and what made him such an icon to his loyal fans. Gross out humor, tasteless narrative to the conservatives of traditional formula and explicit yet giddy content.

Edith Massey as "The Egg Lady"



A Dirty Shame(2005)



The late Divine, with some of Waters' greatest dialogue


However, John Waters has one other thing that separates him from the rest of his contemporaries:


The mustache.

This article of hair alone makes him one of the most easy to recognize characters on the planet. That and his character itself. His scripts are some of the most quick witted exercises in word play you will ever run through. When you hear him actually speak, you will discover that he writes his screenplays in the same fashion of his lingo. His wit itself has gave him a secondary career as a spoken word artist; therefore, I humbly admit I wanted to go to Coachella in Indio this year mainly for his stand up session. I never made it there, but I have found this online:



All in all, talent comes in different shapes and open opinions. Enjoy the strange humor while you can, because not everything lasts. Stop your heavily advertised blockbuster romps for a bit and explore what you have not searched for. Better yet, watch what you have not searched for. Disappointment comes in the eye of the beholder, but please, don't be an Ebert. Just go with it for once.


C'mon you patriots, put down Avatar for a while and relax to some good ol'fashion American trash.
-Yeah dude.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Real Greatest Game Ever Played:















-Yeah dude.

Some people speak my language:)

Look people,
I recently came across this video online. Being an enthusiast of film, I've found it to be so true what Mr. Lynch says here, that I thought i'd just share it with you than explain what I saw. 




Just know that just because you have extra gigs on your itouch/phone, doesn't mean you should settle for the shitty trade off of simply portable v.s. multi-enjoyable. 


Don't get too attached to your technology. Embrace art for what it was made for. And how it was made to be embraced. Without succumbing to the progressive marketing techniques that degrade it further.


-Yeah dude.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Where are they Now??? Episode 1: Alisa Reyes

This is a mini-topic dedicated to knowing where the actors of our(or simply the)past have gone from our naked eye through the years of absence they have left us to notice.

Growing up in the 90s was probably one of the greatest things that could happen to a kid. 90s Nickelodeon has to be the greatest thing(and only great thing)that evil conglomerate Viacom has ever given our species(maybe next to Jackass). Well, they have successfully taken every single show and bumper from our 90s haven off the air for good, giving them the title of simple conglomerate once again. Later I will make a post centering around this golden era we road once, but for now, just one percent of that age...

On April 16, 1994, in a time when we were too young to grasp most of the plot within Saturday Night Live, we resorted to our own age specific version of sketch comedy. Nickelodeon's late and greatly missed variety show, All That.

It is a well known fact that the 1st-6th seasons were branded as, "The Golden Age". All the original cast members danced across the show as we were dazzled by the way teenagers could throw on a different fake accent and alter ego multiple times in such a quick half-hour. Each member bringing something so different to the stage than the last, that in a way they are equal to each other in various skills. 
By the 4th season, 3 of the original cast members had left the show and a few new faces had joined the group since then. There were never any farewell episodes, nor any hints to the fans at home that any of the actors were to be leaving at all. By the intro of the following seasons 1st episode, people just knew.

One of the members to be M.I.A. after the 3rd season rapped up was the young and witty Alisa Reyes. Alisa was of course the girl that almost every male viewer liked to watch. The one all the young guys back in the day enjoyed watching be in her fun spunky characters. Whether it be her perfectly annoying Ki Ki in "The Island Girls" sketch, or her innocent Penny Lane in the "Super Dude" sketches, Ms. Reyes was always a classic performer. Me personally, I just loved the energy in her characters. Her presence gave off a happy vibe to the skits she took part in. She also holds the record for making me laugh harder than any other cast member did, during a minute long appearance in "the sticky store" skit where she portrayed a stereotypically ghetto mother to perfection.


the island girls



But the truth is, she went awol after the 3rd season rapped. By the 4th, a new intro was added to the show. In the new intro, it became clear that she and Katrina had left the show. Where did she go???


Well, she had many guest star appearances on different shows as you can see here.
But, Currently she has some new jobs since then.


One such new job is being an on air personality for Sirius Satellite Radio.


During her informal hour, she talks about things in the now, such as excursions into news events that otherwise would end up in the back page of any local newspaper. Giving a cynical and sarcastic rant on the topics no one else cares about, but clearly should, for these stories are awesome. It's stupendous! Less talk on D.C. and more on interesting things.
This show is entertaining to me! and that never happens with radio for me. So unless your considered too lazy, then I guess that just went through your head, sadly not literally.


She also races boats, performs Voice-Overs, And is an avid charity worker. I must say, It makes me so happy whenever I find out another celebrity donates to the Cancer Society. This girl is awesome.


Listen to internet radio with The Alisa Reyes Show on Blog Talk Radio
I'm proud to be a supporter of my childhood entertainers. And if the actual Alisa is ever to read this, I just wanna say thank you for being so real in a world where so many lucky people take their big breaks for granted:)


I will always love my memories of OLD and GOOD television foooooor, ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever...


-Yeah dude.

Comedy Time

Every time I write LOL on a post or text, I want to slap myself, for it so over used and gives whatever tone you are trying to give off seem off. Such as, serious can become sarcastic, and funny can seem like "eh, that was so not funny I will fake a laugh out of sorrowful pity."

This post has nothing to do with writing LOL. Nevertheless, being in bed for a week with an ear infection can suck so much that you resort to creating a post you normally would not dream of ever doing. Well, here's my example of just that: My top 10 mini-stand up routines by some of my favorite stand uppers.



10. This guys' high speed one-liners have easily made it onto my list.



9. Barley a joke. Still funny.



8. Carlin needs no introduction, however, I've basically just gave him one...


7. I don't care, this is just awesome!!!!



6. Paul Mooney with one of the greatest jokes ever told.



5. The home stretch begins with my favorite Dave Chapelle joke. My deepest apologies.



4. The late Mitch Hedberg, in all this awkward glory!!



3. Henry Rollins with the single routine that put him at the top of my list.


2. Not "his", but "THE" Tour De Force of comedy routines since he 1940's, ladies and gentlemen, The Aristocrats:


1. Number one: Click Me.



-Yeah dude.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Happy Birthday to Dude!!!

Happy Birthday Brian Surewood!!!! It's June 1st!


One of the most awesome people deserves one of the most Awesome Birthday Wishes!!!!

Brian Surewood(or Barnes), although you cannot read this or see this video where you are right now, please accept this random token of appreciation, for your unusual and some would say outlandish talents have helped to secretly bond friends together stronger than any alternative force has thus far, through your hidden catch phrases and improvised remarks while on the job, this has been possible.

Mr. Brian, In response to such catch phrases, I dedicate this film I randomly found on the internet to you!


Please send your belated Birthday Wishes to Mr. Dude in Tehachapi State Prison. He is an innocent man, please help to prove that!

Brian Barnes, CDC#G55493
Davis Hall 121-L
California Correctional Institution
State Prison
P.O.Box 107
Tehachapi, CA 93581



Brian Surewood's Facebook


Chow!


-Yeah dude

Pain and Celebration

Had to endure the worst pain I've ever felt since I was 8 years old yesterday. It was hilarious just how excruciating it was. Tonsil and ear infections don't mix well! A nice note to self.
GROSS!
No, it is not an orange. Nor is it my own ear either. Just another gross infection no where close to mine, thankfully!(celebration)                                     

 Anyway, Check this out!! :

Truly a Movie worth treasuring forever!!
-Yeah dude

Sunday, May 30, 2010

A Little Something by Dave...

Throughout the years I've seen quite a few good tastes in comedy. Being a bit of an individual, I've been categorized as being a fan of the self-described "dick" or "fuck" comedy. Those words acting as adjectives rather than a noun or verb. That will be better explained later. For now, it's time to expose upon those who possibly haven't seen these flash videos yet, Retarded Animal Babies!
Enjoy!!!




The Rest at New Grounds.Com,

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4(MY FAVORITE ONE!)
Channels:
0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9(plays movie), 10, 50, 69, 100, 111, 123(secret episode), 500, 666, 999(lol).

Parts:

5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 1517, 18, 19, 20, 21.




Last but not least:

MAGIC ANIMAL BABIES!!!

An Intro to nothing that important:

There is a life to live for every person abroad, and many paths to take unnoticed. With every path comes a time and place to relax and experience minor things on one's road to personal achievement. Some people though, miss opportunity to see some of these amazing things on their way. Shame really, how so many gems remaining hidden in the explorer's plain sight. Here i shall dedicate my remaining time to educating thee on subjects not found anywhere stereotypically educational.

Ok, well basically, this is just a blog from me to just rant and force random junk upon your face when you visit me.
Until then, lets look at one of my favorite films, The Alphabet by cult director David Lynch: